My years thus far have been spent mimicking other people's shadows to get a taste of developed talents and how they exhibit themselves to the public. The ability I have to be overly vocal when it comes to someone's influence on me is one of the better personality traits I have, as my main love language is words of affirmation, that's how my adoration for others comes out. It is usually the biggest thing I'm insecure about in a relationship despite it being the thing I am most certain I am capable of doing. Today I'll be attempting to put that fascination into words and using this outlet as a way to exemplify where some of my most treasured inspiration comes from. I've been wanting to do a list like this, but instead of doing the stereotypical Buzzfeed "10 Things You Should Know Before Decorating A Cake!" list, I hope this will be a little more enlightening and, like I hope my words come across, complementary. The following list contains seven people that have motivated me this year in the most impactful ways and how they did it.
1. Adriene Mishler/Yoga With Adriene
Sweet, sweet Adriene. For at least four years she has been my virtual yoga instructor before virtual yoga was cool (and mandatory!). This is the first year I've done yoga consistently enough to see a difference and a lot of it I have to thank Adriene for. Every month she released a yoga calendar with a theme and a practice every single day that helps signify that theme. I have done yoga every single day since February and, to be honest with you, I've never felt more confident not just in my ability to move, but my ability to focus on something other than what is plaguing me in the moment. Through this trying year, she has shown up for all of us in her community on more than one occasion and in such a positive way.
Endlessly she gives us the best of her and shows us how to be the best version of ourselves possible. She has singlehandedly given me the confidence to lean into my breath and trust in my body to tell me what it needs and guide me safely in that direction. I have moved from doing a guided practice every single day to now being able to flow on my own time by my own thought without being totally distracted, all because my practice came from such a wonderful, comfortable, safe, and understanding place.
Find Adriene's Youtube Channel here.
2. Mat Fraser/Tia-Clair Toomey
I tend to rope these two badasses into one category because truthfully I associate one with the other and it doesn't seem right otherwise. During lockdown, at the beginning of the year, I got into lifting weights and exercising more, unlike anything I had ever committed to before. As I began my trek into the fitness world, if you want to call it that, I stumbled upon a documentary on Netflix called The Redeemed and The Dominant. This documentary is about the 2017 CrossFit games and the mindset you have to be in to be able to be the best of the best in a competition like this. I've heard my fair share of jokes about CrossFit and have comprehended the stigma that comes with working out in this sort of athletic jack of all trades atmosphere, but by the end of the documentary, I had such increased respect for people with the ability to excel at almost every physical activity known to the human race at this point.
When I needed an extra boost of encouragement to get up and lift my own weights or to even get up and put my shoes on to START my trek to my run, I'd watch a snippet from YouTube or go to a competitor's Instagram and get a dose of what I knew would switch my ass into gear. It isn't about the abs or the muscle or the increased nutrition for me, although that should be such an insistent factor in such an influence, overall it is the mindset of being able to train and compete on such a high level of skill and integrity, and continue to dominate year after year after year. As it stands now, in December of 2020, Mat Fraser has been crowned Fittest Man On Earth for Five years in a row, setting a record for the first person to ever win so many consecutive titles. Tia-Clair Toomey has been crowned Fittest Woman On Earth Four years in a row, after coming in second place for the two years prior.
3. Lila
As we switch from athletic to personal life, this is the perfect time to incorporate someone who has undoubtedly changed my perspective on a lot of my own life without me realizing as she's doing it. In January of 2020, I had my tarot cards read at my local metaphysical store and one of the most notable declarations was based on my future. The Hermit card was drawn and as it is shown, he has a lantern overlooking a mountain, representing someone looking out for you or acting as a mentor. As another card was drawn to explain further, The Queen of Swords was drawn. This represents this person to be a guide of sorts, to give you advice, and as my provider described it "The Bitch Card." Immediately I thought of Lila, the new manager at my job, whom I had become irreparably close to in a short amount of time, without explanation.
Timidly I came to her and explained "I think you were in my tarot reading," and she looked at me with her piercing blue eyes and said, "I know I was.... I've been waiting." From that day we've discussed everything from career to personal to past to future to jokes and time and time again come to understand that in some way we must have known each other in a past life. For me, I have never become so comfortable around anyone in such a short amount of time, but especially someone who is managing me. In a span of less than a year, she has become someone I trust endlessly and someone I hope to keep around for the rest of my life. She encourages me on a level I have rarely experienced in my life, and unconditionally, at that.
4. Joan Didion
Okay, we all saw this one coming, didn't we?
Since 2018 I have been a fan of author, journalist, and essayist Joan Didion. Throughout the 60s, 70s, and 80s, she was a notable writer of the times, electing to write about things like hippiedom, the Manson trials, her own views on the world at that time, and how to give an unbiased view to the most biased situations. For years I have admired her as a writer and have found some of my most incredibly overwhelming inspiration from her. The cadence I've strived to write with since I was in high school was easily examined in her writing and speaking, and from there I felt unstoppable.
Just as I became interested in her, she entered her 90s and inevitably slowed down her writing process. That did not at all stop me from devouring her past works like they were hot off the press and everyone wanted a copy. This year it was announced that she is releasing another work of unreleased essays called Let Me Tell You What I Mean. Although these essays are from a time when the nation couldn't get enough of digesting what she had to say, these are still going to be fresh works of art from someone so unaware that she has a profound influence on writers trying to "make their way." Click here to watch The Center Will Not Hold, a documentary on Joan directed by her nephew, Griffin Dunne.
5. Nance
Okay, again, we all saw this one coming, didn't we?
If you know me, you know Nance. It is almost annoying how much I talk about and remind him of his positive impact on me, but if anyone has viably influenced me, it's Christian Nance himself. A rapper from Raleigh, I found him on a whim one February after my favorite concert venue in North Carolina posted about a show he was opening and the rest is history. As I came to listen more I came to truly enjoy his music. As I came to interact with him more, understand his online presence, and eventually spend some time with him the first night we actually met in person, the more I was genuinely thankful that people like this existed in the world.
I know all of this is based on basically an online presence, but there's seldom an online presence like this that doesn't leave me with an uncomfortable feeling with the way the producer wants to be portrayed. I've told him time and time again that his inherent positivity and drive to his goals is an unconditional motivator to not only me but so many others. To not only see the creative environment he surrounds himself in, but to see the processes of his own creative integrity is such a willful and energizing experience. I will never stop reminding him of the impact his personality, his affection for others, and his talent has on the people who are willing to listen. Find Nance here. Photo by the equally as talented @linusandhiscamera
6. Emily Kelley
This one is a little out of left field. The majority of the 4 of you reading this probably know Emily Kelley from our Paradise Fears days. Rightfully and iconically coined blameitonemily from Twitter, I've watched Emily go through the motions this year, from being fired from her full-time job due to the pandemic to trying her hand at her own personal graphic design to suddenly blowing up on TikTok and Etsy and having a full-blown business of her own supporting her goals and dreams, all because of a viral creation video.
I wanted to put Emily on this list because to see this transformation in just a few months has had such a motivational impact on me, I am really unable to explain it. Though it may be a mix of pride and bias, I have certainly put her in a list of people I admire for the work they do and how they do it, both physically and from a place of good intention.
Find Emily's Etsy here.
7. Michelle
Michelle is a local business owner I have come to know in the past year. She owns a shop called Hive, located in downtown Salisbury. She sells only locally made items, handmade items, and sustainable gifts and is all-around one of the most fun people I have come to know in my twenties. I met her on a whim the year I went to Pride and found myself separating from the crowd for a moment of calm. We briefly talked about what something like Pride does for the community and the importance these kinds of things hold for the nay-sayers and condemners who live to ruin things like this. That interaction alone kept me coming back.
In 2020 I watched Michelle navigate the pandemic as a small business owner, fear the loss of her business, have patience with me as I ask a million questions just wanting to pick at her brain and for no gain otherwise, and she still sits on quite the pedestal. She is someone I treasure dearly and someone who motivates me on a daily basis. From business talk, to human talk, to creative talk that always gets the wheels turning in my head, I believe she is the shining example of "some people are put into your life for a reason." Shop Hive online here!
This list was not, in any way, made to make anyone in my life feel bad or feel like they aren't doing enough, or any of those insecure words that come to the minds I hold so close to my heart. I've become undeniably grateful for everyone in my life for one reason or another, these are just the ones that I was driven to "make a profile" on, for whatever reason. They all had a significant impact on my ability to be and my ability to create, and for that, I thank them and thank all of you. Motivation is one of those hot commodities I cannot seem to find these days, so when I find it I take it and run.
I've spent the entire year feeling like my creative abilities are existing with an expiration date, like eventually, it'll be too late and I'll have no reason, no drive, no meaning to create. As someone whose self-worth is based on the amount she works and alternatively the amount she creates, this was a seesaw of a year from any point of view. The aforementioned are those I aspire to take a little piece from in order to make it my own, to use as a match to light my own fire. They also worked as the perfect excuse to write about this evening, following another day of promise-less ideas. Here's to hopefully having no writer's block the next few days!
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