Checking In | World Mental Health Day 2017

A friend came to me the other day and said that upon visiting a doctor's office, the nurse had made a comment about my friend being on medication for anxiety and depression. "....and you're on something for anxiety and depression," she started, "but we all have that, it's just called life." My friend said that the nurse began laughing it off, like it was a joke she had made, in hopes she could lighten the situation.... or something. I obviously don't know what her angle was, and in a time we hear constant complaints that "these millennials are too sensitive, they need to build thicker skin," I can see that she was really just trying to make a joke. But it's like making an offhanded comment about a miscarriage to someone who hasn't been able to bring a baby to full term, or like saying "YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK," in front of someone who has, in fact, suffered a real heart attack. Maybe we do need to lighten up, as a whole, but it's a sensitive topic. In times of self defense, I can be as cold hearted with my words as the next person, but everyone has their own shit they go through, where do you think you have the right to make a comment about it? By now you can tell mental health and mental health awareness is something I take very seriously. While I'll be the first one to joke about my own mental state, I also understand the seriousness in making sure you do mental check ups every once in a while. Every year, World Mental Health Day has a specific topic they tackle, and this year it's "in the work place." I don't work in a terribly difficult job, by any means. I sell some cards to some people, make some connections, and go home. It's not a 9 - 5 with perks and benefits, and your end reward is essentially self fulfillment and your paycheck, but at this point in my life, I'm okay with that. Not working a 9 - 5 allows me to go out and do things a little more freely. However, around this time of year is when I really have to be aware of how I'm doing mentally. My first year in this job, I had no idea what I'd be going into. By the end of that year, I had taken on a bigger responsibility than I had ever anticipated, I had lost weight, gone on autopilot, dealt with strangers yelling at me for not letting me use a coupon, and had mentally checked out. By mentally checked out, I mean I couldn't fathom a thought further than what was sitting directly in front of me. Yes, that's partly my own fault, for wanting to be available to help where I could, and yes, I should have put my foot down to say enough is enough, but in that situation, if you see someone who looks weak, isn't eating well, and has become fairly reclusive, why wouldn't you want to reach out and check on them? In my case, nobody I worked with seemed to bat an eyelash, and it wasn't until AFTER I quit that my friends expressed concern, saying things like "yeah, in December, I was so worried about you." Express your concern, even if someone reassures you that you have nothing to be concerned about, especially in the work place. We tend to not want to connect with our co-workers on such a personal level, but it never hurts to just say "hey, you look a little stressed out, how about you go sit down for a few minutes, I've got this." A little goes a long way. Since that time, I've gone back to the job and have monitored myself far more than I did initially. I suppose it could be because I walked into it a second time knowing exactly what to expect. I know what my limit is, I know when I start to get tired that it's time to dial it back, and I know when I start to get defensive that I just need to be alone for a second. So I lock myself in the bathroom and sit on the floor for grounding, or I go outside and sit in the light of the day and take a few deep breaths of fresh air. The smallest self-care tips can make the biggest difference, and it's unfortunate that it took me this long to figure it out, but at least I did. Two years ago on this day, I wrote about my general experience with mental health, anxiety, and depression, and I found it again this morning. I read it and absorbed it like those words hadn't come from my own brain. I sat thinking, as soon as I finished the blog post, about how much of a different person I've become, just in that time. Even at this point LAST year, I'd get anxiety before walking into a concert venue. I had battled that for years and it wasn't until this year that it became mindless, and just another place I'm going. I'm able to talk with completely strangers about the weirdest things. More importantly, I've begun to gain the ability to have conversations on this topic without having the stigma of mental health buzzing in my ear like a mosquito. I'm willing to speak about my experiences with mental health and mental health awareness, although few, in hopes someone else can find the strength to speak about theirs. The most vital point in all of this is the simple fact that at this point in my life, I can look at myself and say "I'm not going to let this overtake me." I still have days I can't think straight, I still have days I'm anxious to no end, I still have days where I'm only radiating negativity, and I still have days where if someone says one wrong thing to me, I could break down in tears. But it's not a constant, blatant, and powerful every day battle. I can wake up and take a deep breath. I can mentally check in on myself and be okay enough to check in on others. That's what we need to recognize and put into practice. So one thing I ask you to do, on World Mental Health Day 2017, is check in on someone. If you haven't talked to them in months, drop by and offer some words of encouragement. If you talk to someone everyday, remind them that you're here for more than just conversations about bullshit things. Check in on your family, check in on your co-workers, but more importantly, check in on yourself. Be open with your thoughts and feelings. Be honest. There's nothing wrong with something being wrong, as long as you acknowledge it and be proactive about it. Love yourself.

#mentalhealth #reflection #learning #myself #checkingin #lendahand