Here she goes, stroking people's egos again. Listen, if I'm not good at anything else, my level of support is good enough for me to worry it is slightly obsessive and significantly embarrassing on my part. It certainly won't stop me, though. I have little to no recollection of the year at large and although my memory is shotty anyway, I can still recall chunks of time in 2020 because I spent so much of the year feeling the same for months in a row. Music is the one thing that brings me back to a moment in time, hence the reason there's a playlist at the top of this page. For my second to last blog post, I created a collection of songs that serves as a summary of my year. I was intending to do this no matter what, but now I have a reason I can sit down and tell people about it, even if there are just a few of you reading. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it. 1. Rest! by Pat Junior. This is the first song that introduced me to Pat Junior. To this day it remains on my workout playlist and is sure to push me further than I can push myself on any given day, despite the title. This is the first song on my 2020 playlist because somehow I have regularly found myself going back to it in one way or another. 2. Better by The Vamps. I've been a fan of The Vamps for probably close to 5 or 6 years, maybe even longer. Though their more recent releases didn't do a lot for me, this album re-sparked my respect for the band as a whole. In a perfectly pop world, this song would be about a relationship, full stop. Though I'm not sure the intent of what it means deep down, I remember listening to it with a set of ears different from what I had initially and realizing the chorus resonated with a lot of my mental health struggle. "Did things get better, or did we get used to it?..... I won't settle for less than best, I say it so I don't forget." 3. House With No Mirrors by Sasha Sloan. THIS ONE was hard to narrow down because so many of Sasha Sloan's songs create a snapshot in time. I chose House With No Mirrors because in all the years I've struggled with identity and self-esteem, one thing has always remained the same and it's fully based on the reflection of myself I see in other people, or I assume I see. The title is quite literal when it comes to the context of the lyrics, but is still vague enough for interpretation. 4. 929 by Halsey. Halsey hit me in the feels this year, as well as every year before, and will continue to do so every year after this. 929 is important because of the ability and intention to reflect in the way Halsey does. I spend a lot of my time going back in time, mentally, to better serve my present and future self, so naturally, this was one that stuck out above the entirety of Manic. 5. Baby Blue by Christian Sparacio. There have only ever been two songs in my entire life that have created a sense of pure quiet in the busiest of rooms. This one is one of the two. When I first started running, I'd often listen to Christian's discography and eventually find myself completely entranced in what Eckhart Tolle refers to as "a state of no-mind." I've listened to this song a ridiculous amount of times and it never loses its vibe. 6. Marjorie by Taylor Swift. This one has become significant just recently for two reasons. It was just released, and the number of times I've been thinking about my grandmother recently. I typically do at this time of year, but the amount increased in 2020, for whatever reason. A few weeks ago I had an experience and just last week I wrote about it, you can find it here, but the reflection on the relationship Taylor was able to have with her grandmother is so beautifully written, it's one of those things you wish you would have had the talent and capabilities to write. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were talking to me now." 7. Red Desert by 5 Seconds of Summer. Speaking of another song I keep going back to. This one is on here for that specific reason. It plays a storyboard in my head every single time I listen to it, and there are very few songs that have been able to do that as of late. It makes me feel free to create, free of concern. Like Halsey's Bad At Love music video could come to life. 8. Split by America Part Two. I'm not exaggerating when I say that if you listen to this song, you will completely understand why it is on this list. It quite literally speaks for itself. This was another one of those songs that encouraged my anger to be put to use in an effective sort of way, whether working out or screaming to it while driving, it, in some way, created a zone of welcome understanding and really got me fired up, on more than one occasion. AP2 re-released Split (2020 version) when they signed with Revival Recordings later in the year and was somehow even angrier than the initial version. Rightfully so. Happy Election Year! 9. The Big Reveal by Pat Junior & NANCE. We really shouldn't be shocked that Pat Junior is on this list twice. The Big Reveal is one of those "go out and get it" songs that makes you want to kick the doors down, do what you've always wanted to do regardless of the setbacks, and take names while you're doing it. It makes me feel like I can be bigger than what I am at the moment. This entire project released between NANCE & Pat is truly a work of art. The Big Reveal barely beat out Take Care Of You on this list, but know how important that one is, as well. 10. F2020 by Avenue Beat. Do I even need to explain this? Like, really. Someone, please tell Avenue Beat not to throw a beer in the air and say 2021 is their year. Actually... nobody do that. Let's calmly walk into 2021, don't make a lot of noise, and we won't take him by surprise. We come in peace.
Cover photo by Ciara Glagola.
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